One year ago today my life changed forever and will never be the same again. One year ago I lost my mom to a battle with cancer. This last year has been so hard I cry everyday, not all day just when a thought gets to me or sometimes a song, thinking about her is a constant in my life. In a lot of ways this year has been easier than the one before, I have not had to watch my mom suffer and die, but at the same time last year she was still here with us. Two years ago this January will be when she was diagnosed with cancer, it seems like a lifetime ago when we found out. Other days it feels like yesterday when she was normal and healthy, taking care of our family. I can't believe how much this has changed my life, I feel so much stronger now it has taught me humility, strength, patience, and understanding. I am a lot more compassionate now, I cry at everything, it's really kind of embarrassing. I don't think it has gotten any easier over the year and I really don't think it ever will, I just think I have gotten better at dealing with it. My mom was such a wonderful person, and had so many great attributes, I feel truly blessed to have had her for the 25 years that I did. Some things I miss most about having her here are: going to her house and seeing her, her cooking, Sunday dinners, babysitting my kids, her cutting our hair, calling her and asking questions, holidays, being Grandma & Mom, and just Her! I am so grateful I will be with her again through the plan of salvation and that my family is sealed in the temple.
6 comments:
I cried this morning when I realized that today was the anniversary. Your mom was a wonderful woman and it's amazing how much of her I see in baby Jade. She's watching out for all of you and I know she loves you very much!
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes! I know exacly how you feel. I am so sorry for your loss. I remember the first year being so hard. It seems like the "first" everything is so hard. Hopefully this next year will get easier for you. I still think of my dad every single day. I still miss him like crazy. I missed him so bad last week at Thanksgiving. Try to remember all the good times you had with her. Always thank your Heavenly Father for the wonderful mom you have. I find that when I am "thankful" instead of "why me" it make's it easier. I won't lie though, I still have days when I think "why did you have to take him. I needed him longer." You are a wonderful person Danielle. You are a wonderful wife and mom. You bring much honor to your mom by the way you live your life. I know she is looking down with a happy heart knowing that you are carrying on and staying close to Heavenly Father. Hope you have a good day. Love you!!
Danielle, I can't believe it has been a year already. I didn't know your mom personally, but I can tell she was an awesome woman! I am thinking of you today :)
I LOVE YOU AND I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. PLEASE CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
I can't believe it has been a year Danielle. I to feel like I can relate and this post put me into tears. The haredest thing for me is how I would love for my Dad to know my kids. I know he would have gotten a kick out of them. You guys are such a neat family and such a great example to all of us especially in how well you have delt with this trial. My heart goes out to you guys.
Anniversaries can be hard. I'm sure in some ways it seems like it was just yesterday and in other ways it seems like forever ago. I can't imagine how hard it is not to have your mom here. I'm sure that she's with you though and watching over you. I'm sure she's so proud of you and cheering you on.
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